We Got Wood - 43.41 - House of Fiscus; On the Phone with Sacramento

[7teen]

These TNs are told through the eyes of wishful Assistant GM now minor league "slump buster" Kate Fiscus.

I look down at my phone, sitting there in the parking lot. Furious still at Boise and this "Joe" fella for passing off this fake copy of the "Great Wheel"
I look down at the papers handed to me by Wilson. Prescriptions? Prescriptions for what. I know what he's thinking. But ain't nothing touching this cookie that's tainted. Trust me. I type in the address to the ballpark in Quincy, Washington to check out Kum. First thing I'm asking that prick is whether his name is pronounced with an uh or oo sound. Be a lot funnier if it's the former. I check the directions. Do I take the long route and at least get a glimpse of the skyline of Seattle or do I take the shorter round and drive through the bum fucked back woods of Washington. I'll take the short route. "I hear Yakima is beautiful this time of year" I say to myself as I put the car in drive.

I'm not far out of Portland, near Gresham, when I get several notifications on my phone. The BBA draft is still on-going. Teams are posting stories out of their press headquarters when one catches my eye. I typically don't pay much attention to these, but being stuck in the minor leagues an occasional one catches my eye. This one got my attention quickly. Well, the clickbait headline really got my attention. I get on the phone.

"Can I speak to the man they call the shoeless one?" I ask the receptionist on the other line. "It's the" I stop for a second. How do I actually get through to Doug. "I'm the assistant general manager with the Portland Lumberjacks" I tell her.

She pauses. I hear a rustling sound in the back ground. "You don't sound like a Ted" she responds.

"Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm not Ted Dunn. My apologies. I'm his secretary calling on his behalf. He'd like to speak with Doug Olmsted please. He'd like to initiate a trade" I quickly tell her. Hoping this works. Surely it will. Since the relocation and name change, the Mad Popes haven't spent a day in first place and panic is probably setting in.

"One moment." I continue driving down the road on some backwoods highways. "65 Miles until the next gas station" a side reads. God I hate this drive.

"Hello, this is Doug" the voice on the other end says. "How's it going Ted?"

"Sorry Doug, this is Kate. Kate Fiscus. Not Ted."

"Oh, Kate" the disappointed Doug says on the other end. "I don't have time for this Kate. Goodbye."

"Wait, wait" I quickly respond. "Look this won't take long. Quick question. Hey, rumor is you drafted a 6-fingered kid with your second round pick. You up for a trade? I'm, uh, intrigued."

"No can do Kate. Goodbye."

"Wait, wait. Can you at least send him to rookie ball. Bend, Oregon isn't too far from here. Doug!? Doug!? DOUG!!!!???"

Silence. Doug hung up. Well, let's go talk to Kum.

@shoeless.db

[shoeless.db]

I’m going to need several buttercups in my face to trade the six fingered man...