We Got Wood - 41.11 - The One Where We Gather Intel

[7teen]

The following is a transcript of a conversation recorded during a recent job interview.

GM Wilson: Grab a seat, I don't think this will take long.

Keith Russell: Grab a seat where? I'm not sure I've ever had a job interview in a hotel room before.

WIlson: Just sit there on the edge of the bed. Just trying to make you feel comfortable. I assumed a random motel here in Portland would do that.

Russell: [sitting on the edge of a queen size bed covered with a stained bed spread and one of those motel bed toppers] Not sure why that would be the case. But here I am, so I guess we can do it here.

Wilson: Well, you were with Chicago. I figured since they were doing business out of a Motel 6 it would be fitting to do the interview here. As to not make you uncomfortable [Wilson adds with a slight laugh]

Russell: Well, maybe for the big league club. I was in Double-A. We are more accustomed to.... Well actually, yeah this makes complete sense.

Wilson: See! But enough of that, I called you up to Portland because we want you on our staff. We have a variety of minor league vacancies next year and we'd like to offer you one.

Russell: Minor leagues? I was really hoping to get a job in the BBA this season. I was minor league manager of the year last year with Chicago.

Wilson: Understood completely, but that was given to you by the organization. It wasn't a league wide accolade or anything. And besides, what is getting an award by Vinnie Vitale really worth?

Russell: Vinnie. Fuck that dude.

Wilson: You're hired!

Russell: Huh?

Wilson: Just kidding. Sort of. Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. We want you with the organization. We want you real bad. We don't have a spot right now available in Portland. At least not at the moment. But we have any available spot you want open in our system. What will it take to get you here. We want information on The BlueprintTM.

Russell: The BlueprintTM? You mean that silly memo that got leaked earlier in the year?

Wilson: Yes, that's it. We all know Vinnie is a sneaky cat and has The BlueprintTM. We want all the information we can get from it.

Russell: Geez, I don't know. There wasn't a whole lot to it really. But I'm not sure how comfortable I am giving up all the information on my former employer. Vinnie is a weazel, but I want to stick around in this league. If I get labeled as a guy who is willing to dispel information like that, then I'll never get hired in the league again.

Wilson: Understood. But you don't know me very well, do ya Keith?

Russell: Well, you run a good organization. Was with Madison for a long time. I know that.

Wilson: True. But most of all, I'm a loyal guy. Just look at my past. I keep guys. I keep guys around for a long time. You might be worried about what the outside world thinks of you post your Portland days. Who's to say there will be post-Portland days. You come on board here, give us some information, and you may never look for another job ever again. Spend some time in the farm system and you'll be with the Lumberjacks in no-time. And probably retire an old man with this organization.

Russell: I don't know. I'd still like to jump right into the BBA.

Wilson: It's coming. Trust me. How about this, you start off a few years in Triple-A with our Quincy squad. It's just a couple hours up the road from Portland. You'll be such an asset to us in Portland we'll have you floating back and forth quite a bit.

Russell: Sounds ok, I guess. But I really....

Wilson: I know. BBA. How about this, a 5 year deal with Quincy. We give you a raise from what the cheapskate Vinnie paid you. You share information on The BlueprintTM. In 5 years, we bring you to Portland in some capacity.

Russell: 5 years? That's a long wait. I'll be in my 50s by then.

Wilson: 5 years, a raise. Just down the road. And perks.

Russell: Perks? What sort of perks.

[the door from the bathroom opens. The clomping of high healed shoes fill the room as they bang the fake laminate hard wood floor in the room. A woman, wearing a robe appears. The 3 individuals now fill most of the small motel room.]

Woman: Perks! [says the woman removing her robe, now standing at the edge of the bed Russell sits on. She's wearing nothing but forest green heels, the color of the Lumberjacks.

Wilson: Perks!

Russell: Perks!?

Wilson: Perks! I'd like you to meet Kate, the assistant to the GM here in Portland.

Russell: Perks! [Russell responds nodding his head] Quincy it is!

[shoeless.db]

I have some information on The Right WindTM I’d gladly share ... for a, umm, piece price.

[7teen]

I have some information on The Right WindTM I’d gladly share ... for a, umm, piece price.

Her favorite bottle of wine should do!

[CTBrewCrew]

"Wilson: Understood completely, but that was given to you by the organization. It wasn't a league wide accolade or anything. And besides, what is getting an award by Vinnie Vitale really worth?

Russell: Vinnie. Fuck that dude.

Wilson: You're hired!

Russell: Huh?"

LOL