We Got Wood - 40.26 - Hot Garbage

GM: Chris Wilson

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We Got Wood - 40.26 - Hot Garbage

Post by 7teen » Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:03 pm

While the focus is always about winning and being competitive, it may not be focus number 1 in Portland here in the inaugural season. The Lumberjacks have come to life a little after a dismal start in April to the tune of 11-16 since. While it is no means enough to be considered a legitimate post-season threat, it is still something. So much so that it prompted a conversation between Lumberjacks GM Chris Wilson and team owner David Wallace about trying to get better.

Wallace - Things are starting to look better, aren't they Chris?

Wilson - They really are. I know we still have a long, long way to go but it's nice to see some wins. Not to mention the fan turnout of late. That was an interesting little study you had on our attendance. I think if this team just stays as is this season we'll continue having large crowds.

Wallace - You think so? I'm afraid if the team continues to hover at the .320% winning percentage that fans will become disinterested sooner rather than later and the attendance will start to dip. Maybe not below 10,000 like we saw when the River Rats came in but could definitely drop.

Wilson - River Monsters you mean.

Wallace - Yeah, Monsters. But I really think we should start to consider putting our best foot forward now and maybe look at some changes in the lineup.

Wilson - Like what? I'm not sure we have a whole lot of flexibility right now. Not to mention, I don't think bin Bahir knows what he's doing down on the field as the manager anyway.

Wallace - Well, we've had that conversation already. We all know he's gone after this year. He's just the token fill in guy for this year until we get our man. But I think if we tinker, we might be able to not finish in last.

Wilson - Yeah, I've noticed we aren't far from climbing up some in the standings. Seattle is having a rough go of it this season and are within reach. But again, I don't think we need to do anything drastic or divert from the Master Plan.

Wallace - Well, I do think we can make a change or two. Starting with Steve Dempsey. I know he's your guy from Madison and all but he's putting up a negative WAR right now. Surely someone can be doing better.

Wilson - Look, I get it. Dempsey hasn't done much for us. But fans want to see him. He's a potential hall of famer.

Wallace - Maybe. I don't think fans are here to watch bad players try and play baseball.

Wilson - He's not terrible. Plus he does draw in fans. I"m not saying he's the cause of the up-tick in attendence, but he's a draw. He's popular. If he gets hot, more fans will come watch him. There's a chance he gets to 2,800 hits this year.

Wallace - So what. Is that a number fans flock to see? We aren't re-signing him next year. You know that right?

Wilson - Well, we'll see. Maybe he won't ask for a king's ransom this off-season.

Wallace - NO! He's gone. I know he's your guy and all but we are moving on. Remember. Master Plan! Not to mention, he stinks!"

Wilson - Look, I know his WAR has been in the negatives and all but -

Wallace - No Chris. He stinks. I mean, he wreaks. Some of the guys can't stand to be around him. Have you not noticed this?

Wilson - You mean, he smells bad? You're not talking about his play stinking?

Wallace - Oh my, you haven't noticed. We've had a few complaints from some un-named players and clubhouse guys that he literally stinks. In fact, we've had complaints about him and Jon Mick. Folks saying they smell like old, mildewed cheese. Come to think of it, you kind of have that odor around you. Your office is pretty damn bad, man.

Wilson - Really? I've never noticed a smell.

Wallace - That's it! Of course you haven't. You guys have been in Madison for so long that you're immune to the smell. It's like, it's like you guys smell like that liquid nacho cheese you get at a ball game, only it's that the cheese you all smell like has been sitting in the garbage for a week. Mixed with a variety of other liquids and baking in a hot sun. It's like hot garbage.

Wilson - That's a bit harsh, don't ya think?

Wallace - Well, it needed to be said. Look, I know you guys have been together for a long time, but something needs to be done. Both on the field and with the smell. Can you take care of it?

Wilson - Yeah, I'll talk to Jon and Steve today. Let them all know we have a certain "smell" to us and get the situation fixed.

Wallace - Good! And tell Steve while you are at it we won't be pursuing a contract extension with him. He'll be a free agent after the season.

Wilson - But--

Wallace - No buts. The Master Plan!

Wilson - Got it!

Dempsey Responds
After the conversation with team GM Chris Wilson, Dempsey stepped up his game. Steve had 15 hits in the most recent sim, including a trio of 3-hit games and a team high 5 hit affair against Valencia. The knocks allowed him to raise his batting average to over .300 for the first time this season and his WAR is now in the positive. Following the game against Valencia, Steve commented with reporters:

"I feel like a new man. Sometimes you need a new perspective. I know I'm getting up there in age, but hearing the truth sometimes is all you need. I've overhauled not only my game but also my life. Expect big things out of me the rest of the way and with whoever I play for next season. But I can tell you one thing, it won't be in Portland"

Dempsey concluded the interview and then walked out of the clubhouse. But not before a quick spritz of the newest Georgio Armani cologne.
Chris Wilson

LB Surfers 95-96
FL Pac Champs: 95

Madison Wolves 99-2039
JL MW: 99-2009, 17, 20, 21
JL WC: 12
JL: 01, 04, 09, 12
FL Heartland: 32
FL WC: 31, 33
BBA Champs: 04, 09

Portland Lumberjacks 2040-
FL Pacific: 50
FL WC: 49, 51
FL Champs: 49, 51

Vic Caleca TN of the Year 2046

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Re: We Got Wood - 40.26 - Hot Garbage

Post by HoosierVic » Fri Oct 18, 2019 3:04 pm

Like "old mildewed cheese" ... what an odor.

Another outstanding entry, Chris. Portland's TN forum is must-reading.

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Re: We Got Wood - 40.26 - Hot Garbage

Post by bschr682 » Sat Oct 19, 2019 8:31 am

I do love the phrase “stinks like cheese”
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