We Got Wood - 40.19 - How Does it Feel to be the Worst?

[7teen]

Despite what the headline may suggest, this article is now about the Portland Lumberjacks team as a whole. Yeah sure, we are 5-19 which is the worst record in the BBA but we can't say we're the worst (how should Boise feel being tied at that record right now. Or Charlotte as well?) No, this article is focusing on Fernando Martinez who found out this week that he is the worst player in the league. He wasn't too happy upon finding out.

Reporter: Tough loss today against Long Beach. What are your thoughts on the game, Fernando?

Fernando Martinez: Yeah, we had the lead going to the 9th but couldn't hang on. Those games always suck to lose. Poor Luis Ortega is struggling right now.

Reporter: Yeah it was his second blown save this season. But you guys still had a chance later in extra innings. You guys tied it up in the 13th, but things fell apart there in the 14th. What happened?

Fernando: We just fell apart again. We just can't seem to finish the deal. AT this point, the longer a game goes the less the odds are we'll win it. Our bullpen and pitching is just struggling right now.

Reporter: Speaking of struggling, you've had a pretty bad start to the season.

Fernando: I had a pair of hits tonight so I did my part to help us win!

Reporter: That is true. You went 2 for 6 officially. But in your 9 previous games, you had just 1 hit. In fact, you were 1 for 35 over those 9 games. What do you say about those stating you could be doing more and the team was wrong to acquire you.

Fernando: No one is saying that. Yeah, I'm off to a slow start offensively, but I'm doing my part on defense. I'm still an upper level 2B in the league.

Reporter: Statistically speaking, you're not a top level 2B. You're hitting .163 with a .387 OPS. And your glove is pretty average.

Fernando: Listen man, I know what I am. I'm a top level player making $10 million a season. Clearly people in this league have seen value in me and are paying. Maybe my stats are off to a slow start, but I'm still playing good.

Reporter: Define good! Some are saying you're the worst player in the league right now.

Fernando: No one is saying that.

Reporter: No!? Some are. Based on your WAR, you ARE the worst player in the league right now. Your -0.9 WAR is the worst in the league. Based on that stat, you have single handedly lost a game for Portland. Just by yourself. The team could pick up just some regular ol' Joe 2B or a replacement guy and be better off than you right now. What do you have to say about that? You talk about everyone else struggling, but no one else is playing as bad as you right now.

Fernando: Listen here man, I had 2 hits tonight. 2 Runs batted in. And I haven't made an error all year. I'm good man. This interview is over!

[recte44]

He sucks as much as Travis Shaw!