We Got Wood - 40.03 - Where To Begin?

[7teen]

Where do we even begin to make sense of the last 72 hours in Portland. So much has happened that it's hard to really process all of the madness. How about just an excerpt from the Lumberjacks war-room on expansion draft night....

7:50 PM
CT Portland Owner David Wallace (DW) - We ready to go guys? Chris, you have scouting reports, a draft plan?

Portland GM Chris Wilson (CW) - Ready to go boss. It's a pretty damn big list of names to to weed through but we've checked out about 75-80 guys. I think we have identified a few that will be good players in Portland or assets for us.

DW - Assets?

CW - Yeah, we've had some teams reach out to us about acquiring some players for them. In return, they'll send us some younger pieces. Prospect type guys. Guys to help build up for the future.

DW - Sounds like you got this figured out. Just don't go too crazy. We don't want to have a bunch of overpriced guys on the team early on unless you know for sure we can unload them for pieces. We can't have guys like you had in Madison that are just albatross contracts. You want any food before we get going? Anything to drink.

CW - Nah, I'm good. I filled up my 48 ounce Yeti cup with some drink earlier. I'm good!

8:00 PM CT
BBA Commissioner Matthew Rectenwald (MR) - Alright boys, let's kick this off with the coin toss. Winner gets their choice of first pick tonight or in the ammy draft. Wilson, you call it.

CW - Tails

MR - It's Heads! Brett, you get choice

Charlotte General Manager Brett Golden (BG) - We'll take first pick in the ammy draft.

MR - Wilson, you got first pick in the expansion draft.

CW - Fuck! We'll take from New Orleans, Catcher Hank Brewer

DW - Please tell me he's an asset guy. You have a plan to trade him.

CW - He's an asset guy. Calm down!

8:11 PM CT
MR - Wilson, you're up.

CW - We'll take Pat Allen. Then we'll take Hedde Veenman from California.

DW - Interesting pick of Allen. I like the Veenman pick. He has some skills that are good. Cheap as well.

CW - Allen is a flip. We already have a trade lined up for him. We have sever...

MR - Portland, back to you again. You have two picks.

CW - Already? Shit. (Takes a sim from the Yeti cup). Uh... We'll take... let me see. Sheesh it's hard to keep up. Give us Kim from Brooklyn and Askeri from Des Moines.

MR - Ah yeah, Askeri. There's a Wilson guy.

DW - Who is Askeri?

CW - Page 10 or so of the list. Low movement guy. Has options though (Takes a bigger gulp from Yeti cup). I have a few of those gu.....

MR - Wilson, back to you again.

CW - WHAT!? Damn, who did Brett take? Did he make two picks or just pass!? Uh, give us Bakitsi and Wishart. They're highlighted on my page. I think I have trades lined up for them. (Takes another gulp from cup)

DW - You think!?

8:25 PM CT
DW - Please tell me you have some guys we can use coming up

CW - (Takes a sip) I think there are a few more guys I have highlighted somewhere in here.

MR - Portland, you're up.

CW - Yeah, give us Ortega and Joe.

DW - Ortega!? Are you nuts!? The guy makes over $10 million as a reliever.

CW - (Sip) I think I have a deal for him. I had a lot of people contact me for relievers. I think he was one of them. He's good. We can flip him.

DW - No more big contracts right now, ok?

CW - I'll see what I can....

MR - You're up Wilson.

CW - Damn, really. Uh.................. anyone left from New Orleans

MR - No

CW - Yellow Springs?

MR - No

CW - Shit... what about Des Moines?

MR - NOPE!

CW - Damnit. Well, I'll bite the bullet now. Give me Steve Dempsey from Madison.

DW - Are you fucking insane!? The guy is a bum? He can't field. I thought we had an agreement you were going to change and actually focus on defense here. Not to mention he's overpriced. I'm going to fire you tonight. You'll be the shortest tenured GM in the history of the league. Hey Pam (DW talking to his secretary), can you get me that Nigel Laverick guy on the phone. He's run nearly every team, maybe he wants a crack in Portland.

CW - Calm down man. We can use him as a DH. He's somewhat popular. Chasing a milestone. He'll put some butts in the seats and he's just signed for 2040. He'll be gone at the end of the year. (Takes another big drink and looks in the cup to see how much is left)

8:44 PM CT
MR - Back to you Portland

CW - Yeah, give me Sheee-sheeee Chin

MR - Who?

CW - Sheeme-chi Chine

MR - Who is that?

CW - C-H-I-E-N Pitcher from Jacksonville. Hell if I know how to pronounce it.

DW - Wilson, what's in the cup you're drinking?

CW - Not much now.

MR - You're still up Portland.

CW - Yeah, can you just scroll down the page there. Yeah, sort by potential. Yeah show me salary. Yeah, that guy looks good. Take him.

DW - Who?

CW - Guy had a medium potential. No salary. Was available. We'll take him.

DW - Good plan, Chris. Good plan.

9:07 PM CT
CW - We'll take Jaime Ramirez, shortstop from Louisville.

DW - You're kidding, right? The guy makes over $10 million!!

CW - Popular. Good fielder. You wanted defense, right?

DW - Cup, what's in it?

CW - Nothing now. All gone. Peach Crown Royal. Good stuff.

9:22 PM CT
MR - Portland, you're back up. 4 picks left. Don't forget to get some popular guys.

CW - Who's left that's popular?

MR - This guy? haha

CW - Yeah man, give us Mick!

DW - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CW - Popular. Fills seats. He'll hit homeruns in our park!

DW - The park is built for lefties.

CW - He's a lefty, right?

DW - Are you serious?

9:31 PM CT
MR - That wraps it up guys. That went quicker than I thought.

CW - Enjoyed it. That was fun.

DW - Fun? Really? Hey Kevin, how much did we spend tonight on the draft.

Kevin Malone Portland Accountant (KM) - It was hard to keep track, but I have us around $140 million spent tonight

DW - You're joking.

KM - Give or take a few million perhaps, but yeah, it's up there.

DW - Wilson, I'm going to bed. You better have this fixed by the morning.

CW - Who turned the heat on in the room? I'm sweating. And why is the room spinning.

DW - Fix it!!!!!!!!!!

CW - No problem. It'll be fixed by the morning!

[GoldenOne]

Exactly how I remember it.

[bschr682]

Nice!

[ThePreyingManta]

Quite a crew you have in Portland with David Wallace and Kevin Malone.

[Fat Nige]

Great stuff