Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 4

GM: Joe Faulstick

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stormfall
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Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 4

Post by stormfall » Sun Feb 17, 2019 6:10 pm

Running a baseball team is a difficult business. It’s even more difficult when you don’t communicate with your fans. It’s much more difficult when your team has just been knocked out by a lower seed in a series they never really looked like winning. We’ll talk about that today, but first a bit of news from next week’s flamethrower-related trial and the first Balauri player to appear on Romanian television as a minor celebrity.

Any updates on the trial for the Vladdy incident?
Claudiu S.

Nothing good. We’ve tried bribing the judge with season tickets and a stuffed Vladdy for his children, but so far it hasn’t made him any more agreeable towards our case. Our office is working on getting the judge his own flamethrower, but we’re starting to understand we’ll need a contingency plan, like moving the team to Madagascar or hiring a lawyer.
And yes, “Free Vladdy” T-shirts will be available soon.

What’s one of your players doing on a Romanian game show?
Nadia K.

We’ve gotten a number of questions regarding our starter Sjaak Stelijnis's celebrity appearance on the hit show “What’s Chewing On My Arm?” In spite of the host confusing Stelijnis with our other Belgian regular and, in my opinion, putting a little too much emphasis on our still-painful playoff defeat, Stelijnis acquitted himself well. He breezed past the former Romanian delegate to the UN, the teenage singing sensation, and the blind fashion mogul to reach the final round, where his opponent, a former silver medalist and Romania’s top skeleton racer, set a new record by identifying the mystery animal gnawing on his forearm as a European water vole in just under a minute. Stelijnis was rewarded nicely for his second-place finish, leaving the studio of “What’s Chewing On My Arm?” with a complete set of fishing gear, a bona fide ice cream maker, and a game-used bat from the Bucharest Balauri. We’ve told Sjaak that he is more than welcome to give the bat back to us, but he seems really insistent on trying to hit with it next season. Let’s hope he doesn’t come up with any more crazy ideas.

How do you feel about the way this season has turned out?
Oxana B.

As I write this now, with the Beirut Green Knights still celebrating on the field after Game 6, I’m not sure what to feel. I could vent about our scoring three runs in the first three games while giving up 16, or shout that we can’t have four quality starts against us and expect to win, or even howl that a team like Beirut, who we regularly knocked off during the second half, trod all over us and we barely even tripped them on their way past, but what good would that do? The players on the Bucharest Balauri aren’t only professionals, but professional players who left their homes behind to travel halfway around the world, to a country with no baseball quality and a long-forgotten losing team, who broke even in the first half and caught fire in the second, who gave the people of Bucharest their first taste of playoff baseball, who fought back from three games down to play this unexpected Game Six in front of a grateful nation, and who tolerated my managerial antics for fifty-two whole days. And now, as I walk out onto the field to the first whacks of “SCREEEEEEEEEECH,” I realize how little I want the season to end. I can see the players realize it too. On my way out to congratulate the Beirut GM, there’s a steady stream of Balauri players waiting to give me their thoughts on the season. Miguel Jiménez pelts me with sunflower seeds as he shakes my hand. Rick Williams thanks me for bringing joy back into his career. Joaquín Salars asks what will become of Vladdy, and pulls off his performance sleeve to reveal a new Vladdy tattoo. Nils van Keulen presents me with a brand-new squirt flower, courtesy of all the Bucharest Balauri. George House slips me a one-dollar bill, asking me to please bring him back next season. The names and faces all pass by, wishing me luck in the court case tomorrow and giving thanks for a great 79 games. As the noise from our newest tribute band fades away and the Ballpark of Bucharest prepares to go dark, I am confident that the sun could not be setting on a better season.

We would like to ask all current and former Bucharest Balauri players to stop by our front office to pick up any personal items that Derek has lifted from the clubhouse. These items include keys, cuff links, buttons, crucifixes, class rings, shoelaces, coins, pens, earbuds, bottles, credit cards, license plates, glow sticks, belts, towels, notebooks, candles, power tools, a Tibetan prayer wheel, a zoot suit, a llama-skin rug, a set of medical textbooks, a pamphlet on do-it-yourself surgery, second base, half of a birdcage, an autographed toaster, third base, multiple bowling pins, a random pile of cashmere, a complete home entertainment system, a ten-foot water slide shaped like a dinosaur, and almost seventeen pounds of loose candy. The Balauri organization would like you to know that Derek is VERY SORRY and he promises NOT TO DO IT AGAIN, but this is still a lemur we’re talking about, so I wouldn’t bet on it. If you’d like to weigh in, on this or on anything else related to the team, we would welcome your opinion. What’s the worst that could happen? Find out next week, with another look inside the front office of your Bucharest Balauri!

bschr682
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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 4

Post by bschr682 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:02 pm

I believed every word of this until you suggested an emotional support lemur could only steal half a bird cage. Lets be real if this was true he would have stolen the whole bird cage. #fakenews #freevladdy
GM Vancouver Mounties

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