Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

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Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by stormfall » Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:24 pm

Running a baseball team is a difficult business. It's even more difficult if you don't communicate with your fans. Here on Dragon Questions, I'll be taking on your most pressing questions about the Bucharest Balauri, so you can stay informed about your favorite team. This week, I'll be answering your questions about the trade deadline, our first big promotion, and our unofficial new mascot.

This will be the first ever pennant race for baseball fans in Romania, and some of us are frustrated that the Balauri were completely inactive at the trade deadline. What makes you so sure that this team can continue to hold off Beirut and Jerusalem with no improvement?
-Andrei G.

When I took over in Bucharest, I saw the same problems you did. We started with a questionable rotation, a completely untrustworthy bullpen, and a lineup that didn't hit for enough power to make up for it - but we were still comfortably above .500 and occupying a playoff position. Since then, we've all watched Beirut fall apart without warning, with Jerusalem stepping up to take its place as a contender. Unfortunately, we don't have the same top-flight talent collecting dust on the reserve roster that the Hebrew Hammers pulled out to immediately start winning ballgames. If I wanted to seriously improve the Balauri, I would have had to sacrifice some serious talent. Sure, I could have cleared our developing players to pick up a frontline pitcher, or gotten rid of one of our building blocks to plug a few holes in our lineup, or even sold off real talent for enough cash to dive into the free-agent market, but who could we afford to give up? Losing Mike Román or Juan Solís would have brought our lineup to a screeching halt, and we could not have gotten as far as we did without our resident RBI machine Laurent Fernandez holding down first base. As for dealing pitchers, I doubt any Balauri fans wanted to find out what would happen to our seventh-place staff without Miguel Acosta leading the rotation or Juan Valenzuela anchoring the bullpen. As I've said before, our roster is a mixture of stars and scrubs, and we simply didn't have the depth to trade away our starters at any one position. Of course, everything's changed after last week - our starting pitching has been lights-out night after night, while our bullpen, which was really made to work this week, was invaluable to our record. If this unimproved team can turn a three-game deficit into a two-game division lead in a week, I think we all can start to believe in the Bucharest Balauri as they spread their wings and head towards the postseason.

You've told us that this Sunday will be your first major promotion. What exactly will the Balauri be doing for "Romani Heritage Night"?
Alex S.

I'm excited to see you're interested in the promotional side of the Balauri. Even in the heat of a pennant race, it's important for us to remember that we have a responsibility to the fans - not just to put a good product on the field, but to make sure that everyone who comes out to our ballpark has a great time and wants to come back. I can assure you that our promotional director has already come up with dozens of ideas to enhance the fan experience, and this is just the first of many that his league-mandated "minder" will eventually approve. As far as Romani Heritage Night goes, the Bucharest Balauri have spared no expense in recognizing and celebrating our Roma community. Fans in attendance next Friday night will find the concourse filled with Roma vendors and artisans, and will be entertained between innings by Roma dancers and musicians. We've even hired a bear wrestler for the seventh-inning stretch - although the league remembers what happened the last time our promotional director brought large animals onto the field, and won't allow our wrestler to bring a bear with him. I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out within the next week, though. We'll also be raffling off items like the game ball from our latest walk-off victory, a custom-made Balauri jersey, and batting practice with the team, and holding an auction for an all-expenses-paid trip to the Carpathian Mountains. When the game is over, we'll bring in our brand-new "party caravan" and open the field up to a massive Romani celebration! We're already almost sold out for Romani Heritage Night, so if any of you out there are interested in joining us, you'd better order your tickets right away!

What is that lemur doing in the Balauri dugout?
Maria O.

This was by far the most popular question, so I figured that I should probably address it right away. His name is Derek (somehow none of you bothered to ask), and in the short time he's been here, he's already joined Vladdy the Golden Dragon as a sort of team mascot. I've known Derek longer than I've known anyone on the Balauri, and he has a story you might like to hear.
For the last year or so, I had been volunteering at an animal sanctuary in the United States, and about three months ago, we had a curious new arrival: a ring-tailed lemur, who immediately made himself at home. Derek, as he came to be known, turned out to be extremely clever and a real trickster. No one was keeping doors shut on Derek for very long - or anything containing food, toys, or electronics. Within a few weeks, Derek had become so much of a challenge that the sanctuary was having problems managing him in addition to their other fifty animals. It was in this turbulent situation that I became the Bucharest general manager, and had to give up my involvement with the sanctuary. However, given Derek's growth and the staff's inability to find a permanent home for him, I suggested that there had to be a place in Romania for Derek to live. After a harrowing ordeal involving three airport-security checks, ten Customs officials, and eighteen hours on a small plane with a lemur digging into my shoulder, Derek and I arrived in Bucharest to find out that no sanctuary had the ability to accept an animal with such a high capacity for mischief. With my new team narrowly holding a playoff spot, I decided the best thing to do was just get to the ballpark, bringing Derek with me - which is where he met his new best friends. Looking back, I should have realized that a lemur with destructive tendencies was probably the best companion for a clubhouse full of baseball players. The Balauri took to him immediately, and now I often see Derek on the bench eating sunflower seeds out of Chris Smith's hand, or in the clubhouse watching the daily card games and chewing on the jokers, or on the team bus whooping along with Salvador Meza's playlist. Best of all, I've finally found a local wildlife center that can take care of Derek when his twenty-five new brothers part ways in September, but he'll see them again next year - nine months is all the center's staff can promise.

Thank you all for taking the time to ask about your Balauri. We've got dozens of questions still unanswered, but I have a few in mind that I plan on answering in detail over the next few weeks. If you've got a question or a suggestion about anything at all, go ahead and ask! What's the worst that could happen? Find out next week, with another look inside the front office of the Bucharest Balauri!

-Zach Cohen

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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by bschr682 » Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:43 pm

I wonder what roasted lemur tastes like?...
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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by usnspecialist » Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:04 pm

bschr682 wrote:
Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:43 pm
I wonder what roasted lemur tastes like?...
Chicken, everything tastes like chicken.
Randy Weigand

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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by stormfall » Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:29 am

usnspecialist wrote:
Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:04 pm
bschr682 wrote:
Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:43 pm
I wonder what roasted lemur tastes like?...
Chicken, everything tastes like chicken.
If that lemur keeps getting me 5 PP’s a week, he’s not going anywhere.

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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by bschr682 » Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:38 am

It would be unfortunate then if some sort of "accident" should befall poor Derek...
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Re: Dragon Questions - 2037, Part 1

Post by stormfall » Sat Feb 09, 2019 8:26 am

Or if Vladdy’s flamethrower should start working when the Hammers come to town...

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