In a press conference on Saturday morning, multiple members of the Romanian media were on hand for the introduction of the new Bucharest GM.
“As I’m sure you expect,” Zach Cohen began, "the rest of the front office and I like the team we've assembled, and we have great confidence in the talent on our roster. Obviously there's still work to do - we have an urgent need for good pitching, and we could get a lot more value out of our middle infield and behind the plate, but I think we're not far from being a solid contender and a legitimate postseason threat. In the next few months, we'll be adding players where we can, but we're also going to focus on clearing out our $750,000 deficit so we can use the offseason to really build a winner."
"However," Cohen continued, "we have a goal for this season beyond what we do on the field, and that is to improve the quality of baseball in Romania. It's no secret that the country's baseball record is disappointing - there wasn't a single Romanian drafted by a UMEBA team this year, and the one local playing in the BBA system moved to Baghdad after Little League. Hopefully, the presence of professional baseball in Bucharest will inspire a new generation of ballplayers throughout Romania, and our team will do its part to grow the game here."
"In fact, I am mainly here to announce our franchise's new name, in honor of our commitment to developing Romania's baseball quality. Some of you may have been wondering what a balaur is ever since you came in. It's a giant snakelike dragon out of Romanian mythology, and we've brought it right out of a storybook to represent our team. Since the word aur means gold as well, Bucharest will be known on the road as the Golden Dragons. However, when they're playing in front of their home fans, you'll see the team as the Bucharest Balauri. We will have uniforms available for you to show to your readers and viewers as soon as we find someone who can sew, and we'll have a logo available for you as well as soon as we find someone who can draw. We also have plans for a series of promotions to build up Romanian support for your Balauri.
"Any questions?" Cohen asked, opening up the room for questions.
"Constantin Ionescu, Bucharest Daily Eagle. You were confirmed as GM on August 4, but you didn't show up at the ballpark until this Monday. Care to explain why it took you a whole week to get into the country?"
"No comment."
"We heard from a Customs official that-"
"No comment."
"They told us you needed to have a license for-"
"No comment."
"What is an 'emotional support lemur?'"
"So no questions about the team, then?"
"Nothing from me."
"Marisa Moraru, Romania Right Now. Who is that man over there, cackling to himself and trying to snap a pen in half?"
"That's our new promotional director. He's one of the brightest minds in the business, and we think he can help us build up fan interest in Bucharest-"
"Wait, I think I recognize him-"
"I know, I'll get to that-"
"Is he the one who got banned from the EBA because of his promotions? The reason we no longer have a National Stadium?"
"Yes, but the league has agreed to reinstate him, just as long as he stays on his best behavior. I don't see this being a problem."
"Gheorghe Muntean, Sport One Romania. Can you explain the idea behind your new mascot?"
"You mean Vladdy the Golden Dragon?"
"Sure. What could possibly have inspired you to put six people in a dragon costume?”
“We think it embodies the spirit of teamwork.”
“Well, do you regret holding open tryouts for it?”
A quiet laugh spread through the room as everyone recalled the now-viral video of the dragon waving to the crowd, trying to turn around, falling grandly onto its side, and immediately arguing with itself.
"OK. We definitely would have preferred to have our six operators on speaking terms, but the fans seem to enjoy Vladdy."
"Especially the time Vladdy started spinning in circles because the head was trying to teach the tail a lesson."
That turned out to be one comment too far. Cohen then put the press conference to an early, and angry, end.
"All right, that's it," Cohen exploded. "I've got better things to do than put up with this nonsense. I'm trying to run a professional organization here, and the last thing I need to do is stay and take potshots from the three of you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put my 0-24 backup left fielder on the DL because our clubhouse manager forgot to wash the cabbages this week."
Cohen left the room to a standing ovation.
Bucharest Announces New GM
Moderator: Joby21
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Re: Bucharest Announces New GM
this is fantastic, vladdy the golden dragon has potential.
Randy Weigand
Havana Sugar Kings/San Fernando Bears: 32-50 (1608-1481)
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Havana Sugar Kings/San Fernando Bears: 32-50 (1608-1481)
Des Moines Kernels: 52-
League Champion- 34
JL Champion- 34
FL Champion- 36, 37
JL Southern- 34
FL Pacific- 37, 39
Wild Card- 33, 35, 36, 40, 43
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Re: Bucharest Announces New GM
Great stuff, can’t wait for them to use petrol to try and make Vladdy really breathe fire at the opposition fans
Nigel Laverick
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
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An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
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Re: Bucharest Announces New GM
It’s all fun and games, until the lemur goes up in flames.
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