Pilot Light #4: Faulty Ignition, Sputtering Engine [September 15, 2059]

[Lex]

PILOT LIGHT #4: Faulty Ignition, Sputtering Engine (September 15, 2959)
by Bernardo Silva Just five days ago, the Pilots were eliminated from playoff contention, despite a slew of extensions that fans hoped would solidify the team, allowing them to hit another gear and put the pedal to the metal.

Unfortunately, the team has since gone on a downward skid, losing six of their last eight ball games, including five straight losses in a row.

Whispers around that eccentric general manager Lex Clark was utterly apoplectic, and had to be talked down from wearing a dunce cap to his press conference.

"We've decided to make a couple of moves," Clark announced when asked if they would approach the last week of this disappointing season any differently. "Did the engine sputter? Sure. You can call it a faulty ignition system. So Felipe, our outstanding manager who is in no danger of being fired whatsoever, and myself, decided to address that issue. On his end, he's decided to try Hashimoto at lead off. Why the [REDACTED] not, right? On my end, we have called up Santiago Durán to play third base. He has a nice bat. Maybe he can give us a spark to close the year out strong."

It should be noted that, when mentioning manager Felipe Murillo's job security for no apparent reason, he did so with a nudge and a wink.

Perhaps Clark has decided there's nothing wrong with the engine, but the driver behind it. If so, we might not have to wait very long for the spark this team is looking for.

[Jwalk100]

The kiss of death vote of confidence!