2042.4: Hammers Visit Devil Magic Factory

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lordtoffee
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2042.4: Hammers Visit Devil Magic Factory

Post by lordtoffee » Wed Apr 22, 2020 5:46 pm

The Hammers are currently sitting in a dead heat with Athens in the Wild Card hunt as we creep into the middle of June. The reason for the recent surge has been attributed to the decision by GM Ben Heuring to go and visit a place that most would choose not to go. That place is located in downtown St. Louis, buried underneath the place a ballpark once stood. It is a factory owned by Harrison Bader, David Freese, Pete Kozma, and David Eckstein. It is of course the St. Louis Cardinal Devil Magic Factory. Founded by Tony La Russa in 1996, the facility offers all the secrets to annoy rival teams, fanbases, and executives by learning how to come back after early stumbles, pulling deep playoff runs out of nowhere, eliminating teams that are better than you, and finding no talent players that just happen to go on a hot streak in October. The Cardinals were experts at this for many years, to the chagrin of many a team. It's like the baseball gods take an almost hilarious pleasure in trolling the teams of the National League back in the day while the Cardinal Nation fans keep claiming they are the best fans in baseball and even have signs to tell it to you. Sources close to Heuring claim the GM was interested in bringing the Devil Magic over to the Holy Land, knowing that the Hammers are the hated heel of every single franchise in the UMEBA.

In all seriousness, it's been interesting to see that the Hammers have clawed their way back into contention despite seemingly having to win slugfests every single night. The odd thing is that the best reliever the team has is Dean Oulton. The Hammers picked Dean up after his stint with the Tropics, and we tried him as a starter. It didn't work so we sent him into the pen. Yes, the ERA is terrible, but this is the UMEBA. The unofficial motto of the league is Where Hitters Rake. This year, Dean has become an important part of the bullpen, winning 7 games as a setup guy thanks to some late inning magic from our band of hitters. But he is going to need to get some help. The Hammers have been rumored to get their hands on a couple of relief pitchers with great potential, and we will continue our Devil Magic ways to try and get back. Thanks, St. Louis!
Chief Baseball Officer- Brooklyn Robins

The Rebuilding Will Continue Until the Robins improve.

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