Baseball Mumbai: Kicking the Chicken 2039.3

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Baseball Mumbai: Kicking the Chicken 2039.3

Post by shoeless.db » Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:39 pm

AARAV: Welcome, Mumbainites, I'm your host of Baseball Mumbai, Aarav Patil. Sai could not be with us today due to, umm, illness.

(muffled noises)

AARAV: In today's episode, I'll be debuting a new future I'm calling, "Kicking the Chicken with Aarav." In it, I'll be breaking down all the news from around the baseball universe that makes me want to kick my uncle's chickens.

(muffled cry)

AARAV: First up, who do these BBA clowns think they are? Sources close to the Metro Stars organization confirm a large flock of middling BBA ballplayers are unwilling to even consider a deal with the UMEBA, specifically our beloved Mumbai squad. Let's take a look at one of these arrogant fools:

Image

Aberto Brunelleschi: This pudgy, 29-year-old, Tom Selleck-wannabe played for the single A, Salt Lake Limes in 2038. A 29-year-old in single A! I'm sure he's thinking his awful work ethic and two-cent brain will get him a call from some desperate BBA GM looking to bolster their AA bullpen in some two-stop-light town that smells of processed sugar beets and cow manure. Great job, Brunelleschi, on turning down the loose cash from India for long bus rides and cheap American beer in late night meat markets across the dirty American prairies. I hope that oblique strain you suffered a couple years back flairs up so you can't wipe yourself after you become sick from the foul cooking of your old Venezuelan grandmother.

(load image of Aarav kicking a chicken with Aberto's face poorly photoshopped on)

(more muffled noises)

AARAV: Next up on "Kicking the Chicken with Aarav", Joe Lederer was named General Manager for the BBA's Boise Spuds after lasting only a couple weeks in Bucharest. Baseball Mumbai's top unpaid intern, Wasim Jaffer Jr., is standing by with this developing story in Bucharest. Wasim?

Image

WASIM: (on the phone) I'm here in Bucharest, Romania, where there are celebrations in the streets. Women are dancing. Children are jumping for joy. Normally placid men are hugging one another. This city could not be more pleased with the departure of Lederer. I spoke to one man who stated the following, 'He came here to get rid of the lemurs, but, in the end, the only monkey this town is losing is him.'

AARAV: Wasim, what do you think this means for the UMEBA?

WASIM: Well, as you well know, Bucharest was awful and will remain that way. Go Metro Stars!

AARAV: Hey, Lederer! First it was bunnies. Then it was lemurs. I hope the rotten potatoes don't grow legs and run you out of Boise.

(load image of Aarav kicking a rooster with Lederer's face terribly photoshopped on)

AARAV: Well, this has been Aarav Patil with Baseball Mumbai, and, remember, Bucharest still sucks!

(muffled noises)
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Re: Baseball Mumbai: Kicking the Chicken 2039.3

Post by jleddy » Thu Jun 13, 2019 4:16 pm

Image
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer

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Re: Baseball Mumbai: Kicking the Chicken 2039.3

Post by bschr682 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 9:39 pm

hah
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