Baseball Mumbai: New Fearless Affiliate Leaders 2039.2

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Baseball Mumbai: New Fearless Affiliate Leaders 2039.2

Post by shoeless.db » Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:05 pm

SAI: Welcome, Metro Stargazers, I'm the host of Baseball Mumbai, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is the man who sleeps with three stuffed teddy bears, the lover of all things frilly, the trashbin himself, Aarav "the Umeba" Patil.

AARAV: (doodling on a white sheet of paper) Mmm, hmm.

SAI: (to Aarav) Idiot. (Back to the camera) Today's top story in an incredibly slow news day: The Metro Stars announced the hiring of three new coaches within their affiliate ranks:

Jose Aicon was named Manager for the AAA Lagos Wreckers. This BBA alumni flung up a career ERA of 4.43 over 14 surprisingly decent BBA seasons, including an All Star selection in 2020. He comes to the Wreckers from the Istanbul organization where he served as bench coach this past season for the awful Bosphorus. I'm certain team officials hoped he learned from all the losing that team did. Aicon brings his buttered toast personality with a deep love for sabermetrics to the Wreckers.

Curt Taylor was handed the reins as Manager of the class A affiliate, Ho Chi Minh City Explorers. Taylor didn't get much more than a cup of coffee in the BBA, where he smashed two monster dongs in 21 at-bats for the Calgary Pioneers in 2004. He spent another 13 seasons toiling in the minors and now defunct EBA, notching an EBA All-Star nod in 2014, before finally giving up the dream in 2018 and pursuing a coaching career. He last coached the Baghdad Kings in 2037 where his true coaching genius was not recognized.

Ryan Riesbeck was named Pitching Coach for Ho Chi Mihn City. The Manchester, Missouri, native helped bring a worthless Landis Cup to Omaha in 2026, certainly a low point in his career. After understanding the unfulfilling nature of a BBA championship, Riesbeck never played another BBA game. He went on to spend every waking moment to fulfill his dream of coaching in a real baseball league, the UMEBA. This dream became a reality this week with his new two year/$12,000 salary.

AARAV: Great, a bunch of BBA has-beens and never-were's to coach a bunch of BBA never-will-be's ...

SAI: I suppose that's better than being a network-required side-kick to the most dashing and best sportscaster this side of the Euphrates.

AARAV: What?

SAI: Nothing. This has been Baseball Mumbai with Sai "Young" Ahuji ...

AARAV: (annoyed) and Aarav Patil.

SAI: We'll see you at the ballpark, Stargazers!
Sacramento Mad Popes (unretired)
-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
-- BBA Champion 2053
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.

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