SAI: Welcome, Metro Stargazers, I'm your host of Baseball Mumbai, Sai "Young" Ahuji. And with me, as always, is Aarav "the Umeba" Patil.
AARAV: Good to be here, Sai.
SAI: Let's jump right in with tonight's top story. The Metro Stars traveled across a couple oceans again to find their new General Manager of Baseball Operations in some guy named, "Shoeless" db Olmsted. What do you think of the hiring, Aarav?
AARAV: Dumb. I hate it. I hate it on paper. I hate it in practice. This guy is a nobody. He's inexperienced. He's old school. Multiple reports from our hackers in downtown Mumbai confirm his recent Google activity included multiple rudimentary searches into advanced baseball statistics. I hate him. I hate his family. I hate his pets. I hate this guy.
SAI: Interesting. I'll mark you down with a solid wait-and-see attitude. Let's hear from the new GM himself in the following audio:
AUDIO of OLMSTED: " Who are all these damn scrubs we've thrown money at? How the hell did we win 93 games last year? How awful is the product the other teams are vomiting out there?"
SAI: You have to admit, Aarav, this guy is overflowing with optimism. It's infectious.
AARAV: Oh, I'm feeling sick, alright.
SAI: When asked about the new GM hiring of Joe Lederer in rival Bucharest, Olmsted had this to say:
AUDIO of OLMSTED: "(Laughter) Lederer? The Jackalope himself? (laughter) You got to be kidding me? (laughter, a snort) I can't believe they still let that guy manage anything after that incident in Caspar, Wyoming. (continued laughter) He came waltzing in as the new GM for the Caspar Ghosts of the Yellowstone League with all these hyped-up promises, one of which was clearing the stadium and surrounding area of an exploding Jackrabbit population. Those damn rabbits were everywhere. By the time Lederer was ran out of town, I swear those damn bunnies had quadrupled in number and grown horns. (uncontrollable laughter) The god-damn Jackalope is over here!"
SAI: Looks like our already heated rivalry with the Belauri may have just grown some horns.
AARAV: Belauri sucks.
SAI: Clever, Aarav. On to our last segment, Parting Words. It has come to our attention, again from our hackers downtown, that Bucharest has put together a new marketing campaign to drum up interest in their horrid club, consisting of a bunch of random products for their fans. Well, here at Baseball Mumbai, we couldn't help but make up a new product Belauri fans will need most:
SAI: For Baseball Mumbai, thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you at the park, Stargazers!
Baseball Mumbai with Sai and Aarav; 2038.1
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Baseball Mumbai with Sai and Aarav; 2038.1
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Re: Baseball Mumbai with Sai and Aarav; Transcript 1
Awesome first effort- I love it!
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Re: Baseball Mumbai with Sai and Aarav; Transcript 1
I've never discussed my hare-raising experience in Wyoming for a reason and I will continue to not do so.
That said, great to hear Aarav is still on the airwaves...his tact is legendary!
That said, great to hear Aarav is still on the airwaves...his tact is legendary!
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer
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