SAI: Hey there, Stargazers, welcome to Baseball Mumbai. I'm the host of the program, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is Aarav "the Umeba" Patil.
AARAV: Whatever. It all just sucks.
SAI: Yeah, it sucks.
AARAV: I'm just done with it all.
SAI: Folks, bad news to report on the Metro Stars front today. League officials confirmed the departure of Mumbai GM, db "Shoeless" Olmsted, after one off-season with the club -- no actual games other than some meaningless spring training affairs. Shoeless plans to take over the General Manager position with the BBA's California Crusaders.
AARAV: It's just not fair. What's wrong with us? Why won't anyone love us enough to stay with us? We can change. We can. We'll do anything.
SAI: Maybe Bucharest is right. Maybe we are just rats. We're never good enough. [small sob] Here's some stupid audio of the guy who just dumped us:
[begin audio]
SHOELESS: I swear it's me and not you. You're a great city. This is a great organization. It just wasn't the right time for me ... for us. Maybe in a couple years we'll see each other, and we'll see all the right stars in each other's eyes, but I'm just not ready to settle down with you, Mumbai. I'm sorry. Please, take the sweatshirt back you gave me [begins removing his Metro Stars sweatshirt ... a voice from the small crowd gathered yells out, "Just keep it. Keep it. Something to remember us by."].
[end audio]
AARAV: They just always leave. They come and get what they want. They use us! And leave. Why?
SAI: [muffled cries]
AARAV: [begins eating some chocolate ice cream straight from the container]
SAI: [lies down in fetal position]
[top unpaid intern, Wasim Jeffers Jr., waltzes into the studio with a suitcase]
WASIM: Why are you guys crying? We're headed to f***ing Cali, baby! California!
SAI: What?
WASIM: Some Crusader fans were reviewing Shoeless' work to see what the hell they're getting. They came across our show and want us to come do a program on the Crusaders. We're going to America, baby!
AARAV: America?
WASIM: Hell, yeah, America.
SAI: Well, this looks like we'll be signing off for good from Baseball Mumbai. For Sai Ahuji, Aarav Patil, and all our hardworking interns, take care, Stargazers, and we hope to see your stars in the Crusader's ballpark soon.
AARAV: Bucharest still sucks!
Baseball Mumbai: The Breakup 2039.8
Moderator: Jim Leyritz
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Baseball Mumbai: The Breakup 2039.8
Sacramento Mad Popes
-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
-- BBA Champion 2053
— The Heartland Sucks
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054, 2058
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.
-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
-- BBA Champion 2053
— The Heartland Sucks
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054, 2058
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.
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Re: Baseball Mumbai: The Breakup 2039.8
Yessssss
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer
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Re: Baseball Mumbai: The Breakup 2039.8
Great stuff! Hope you enjoy California. More chance of getting your throat cut in the BBA than Mumbai
Nigel Laverick
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since
An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since
An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)
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