52.08 London Line Drives Sep 4, 2052: Beirut of Pigs?

GM: Kevin Spencer

Moderator: handaspencer

User avatar
Trebro
BBA GM
Posts: 1139
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2022 12:47 pm
Has thanked: 1055 times
Been thanked: 257 times

52.08 London Line Drives Sep 4, 2052: Beirut of Pigs?

Post by Trebro » Wed Nov 02, 2022 1:31 am

Invasion of New Players Foiled as Team's True Location Doubted
by Niles Standish


Sydney – A string of wins after the mounting losses piled up higher than my disposable phone cards was overshadowed today by the extraordinary discovery that according to league records the London Monarchs don't technically exist!

Now this reporter is all about masquerades, but the current baseball team (which one could say is actually masquerading as a real major-league club) has definitely taken it a bit too far. It seems that when the team was relocated from Beirut to my beloved country's shores, some bloke in the bureaucracy didn't quite tie up all the loose ends. And let me tell you, forgetting to tie things neatly can get you in a lot of trouble. Especially if they got a good look at your face.

Ahem. Where was I?

Oh yes, the curious question of "Where do the Monarchs Actually Play Baseball?"

Because of this mistake, which went unnoticed by all and sundry until a bored digital pencil pusher picked up on it almost two years later, three potential additions signed by GM Rob McMonigal were barred from getting a work visa. The reason: They didn't work here! What a surprise!

No one was more startled than McMonigal, who apparently threw every single item in his office. Twice. I tried to call him, but he's already blocked my number. Rude. But sources tell me he was on the phone with anyone and everyone who would listen, trying to get an exception or prove the residency of his franchise. Not exactly what he was hoping for when he took the job, I'm sure.

So at this point, you're probably asking "Why now? Why wasn't this discovered when the team was moved in the first place?" Well, sometimes the wheels of justice take time. Sometimes people don't always notice things. And sometimes a small inside joke can become an entire column. Either way, McMonigal was out a potential path to prevent leading the way to the worst team in all of GBC history and the owner was out the cost of their contracts.

You'd think he would be pissed, but you'd be wrong. Thanks to my anonymous phone calls, I can tell you that the owner of the Monarchs, Yahyah Talal, isn't exactly overly concerned. In fact, he's nowhere to be found, unless you count appearances in the tabloids. No one reports him ever using the team owner box or visiting the team. Not that you can blame him. They are pretty bad. I tried to reach out for comment but was hung up on. At least he hasn't blocked me yet.

All in all, it's quite the pickle for McMonigal, who not only has to try and repair the team, he's also got to get it playing in the correct city. Maybe that's why they can't win more than one game out of every three played – the team simply doesn't know where to show up anymore.

In playing news, it was the usual for the Beirut Monarchs, with a return to more lopsided losses after some close finishes. After two losses by a combined 14 to 4, the Monarchs decided to give up 14 runs in one game to the Cairo Pharaohs. Knowles, Thomas, and Pak got successively clobbered as the Egyptian team knocked 17 hits all told.

After another loss, this one 5-2, the team flew down under to Australia, where they then proceeded to win the next two games. Byron Cooper had another good start, two runs in nearly six innings, and Petro Nieves got his second save in a three and one third inning performance that also featured Stewart Cannell's 24th home run. Cooper was a 20th round pick in 2045, showing that baseball doesn't just rely on its top draftees (though of course, they don't hurt).

The final game held yesterday was another win, this time a 9-8 thriller in which London, buried under yet another bad start by Itze Woertgen (5 runs on 8 hits in just 2.1 innings), fought back to take the lead in the sixth, only to see Syndey claw back, drawing within a run in the bottom frame. Then London plated two more in the eighth. But Sydney wasn't done, scoring one in both bottom eight and bottom nine, but fell just short. Su-yeong Pak got the save but almost the loss, too. The weak waiver claim has been maddeningly inconsistent.

As opposed to the Monarchs, whose play on the field is nearly as bad as their back office.


News and Notes:

• Cannell, Cooper, and RP Juan Morales all signed one-year renewals with the Monarchs. All three told me they did not feel comfortable agreeing to more, given the state of the team. Still, that's a solid anchor at first, a good starter, and a serviceable swing man (my personal favorite kind of man) lined up for 2053.
• Talks with Tomas Guillen reportedly continue, but nothing's been inked.
• 3B Nicolai Reshetkov reportedly has no interest in coming back for another year.


Until next time, I'm Niles Standish, reminding you that going balls out is always the best strategy. Ta ta for now!
Rob McMonigal
Yellow Springs Nine Sep 2052 - ????

London Monarchs Aug 2052 - Sep 2052

Image

Return to “London Monarchs”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests