Mic'ed up and not so nice (Monarchives, 2051 sim 14) [PP:2051.6]

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Mic'ed up and not so nice (Monarchives, 2051 sim 14) [PP:2051.6]

Post by neugey » Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:49 pm

Infielder Carlos Fernandez, a 28-year old veteran, is playing his first year overseas after wearing out his welcome in BBA. And many of the players in the GBC, teammates and opponents alike, are seeing why the parent US league was so happy to cast the malcontent Fernandez overseas.

"Carlos always had a serious lack of nice things to say," said former manager Woody Donahue of the Boise Spuds. "It was nice to watch him get under the opponents skin in Frontier Division when we had him. But man, the only time our team got any peace was when he dozed off on the bus. And that was usually due to the sedatives our trainer slipped him. Yeah, I've probably said too much. Just glad he is across the Atlantic now and somebody else's problem."

Completely naive to the situation, the British media decided to mic up Fernandez for a game. Decency violations and fines swiftly followed. It's not a mistake that will ever be made again. Nevertheless, some of the exchanges between Fernandez and his unlucky subjects remain available on the Internet for all to hear from the Monarchs July 6, 2051 contest with the Tokyo Pearls in Tokyo.

(While batting, Carlos took a high pitch for strike 1 in the first inning that he clearly did not agree with) "Hey blue, that ball was even higher than you are. Why don't you go back to where you came from and finish your giant stash? Then come stumbling back here when your vision is less blurred."

(In the third inning, Carlos hit a homer on the first pitch, capping back-to-back-to-back home runs by the Monarchs. Following a pronounced bat flip, he managed to chirp all the away around the bases to whichever opponent was in earshot) "How nice of you guys in Tokyo to start the Home Run Derby early. Why do you guys even bother with a pitcher? Just put the ball out on a f***ing tee for us. Gonna take my time going around the bases, just like last weekend with your mom." (After rounding second base, Carlos takes a samurai bow, drawing a loud cascade of boos). "Gotta show the fans around here what a real warrior looks like." (rounding third) "How does that ass look? Expect to see more of it when you're behind us in the standings!" (touching home and high-fiving his teammates) "Jeez, about time! What took you girls so long?"

(Playing first base in the bottom of the fourth, a Pearls hitter reaches first on a single) "My God, why do all you Pearls stink so terribly? Do you even have someone doing laundry here? Glad I'm not any closer to your dugout or I'd start retching."

(Reaching first base in the 5th on a groundball error) "God you guys can't even be trusted with little league grounders, can you? What the hell do you do during practice anyway? Oh, and you tell that prick on the mound not to throw over here. It's a damn waste of time." (reaches second on a steal) "Your catcher's got an alligator arm. He ain't stopping anyone with that little stub hanging from his shoulder" (reaching third on a steal without a throw) "You're lucky my manager hates stealing home. One of these days I'm gonna defy orders and do it anyway. But don't worry, I'm staying. This game is in the bag anyway."

(Pearls come back to tie at 4, Carlos reaches base on a walk in the top of the 10th inning) "You better find someone who can find the plate. This guy ain't it." (reaches second on a wild pitch) "What did I tell you? This is what you get when you let your pitchers drink sake in bullpen." (reaches home scoring on a sacrifice fly) "Yeah I think I'm about done here. Time to get back to the hotel and try to order some real food."

Indeed, the Monarchs did depart the stadium with 5-4 victory. They arrived at the hotel, Carlos being the only player staying alone without a roommate. Management says it's a no-brainer.
Last edited by neugey on Thu Jul 21, 2022 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mic'ed up and not so nice (Monarchives, 2051 sim 14)

Post by Jwalk100 » Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:33 pm

Fantastic!
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Re: Mic'ed up and not so nice (Monarchives, 2051 sim 14)

Post by woods » Tue Jul 05, 2022 12:28 am

First time I've been quoted in an article, I think. Nice work.
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