Cedar Chips 2042.1 - An Inauspicious Start

[ca13]

Around 10 am today, there was a banging on my door. "Jimmy!! Jimmy!!! The FUCK is going on here?" The door crashed open and in stormed a large, red faced, angry man.

"You're not Jimmy," he scowled. "Eric? Right? Some jackass named Eric s'posed to take over? Well look here Eric, we had a good thing going with Gregg. This team was lookin' respect-able for the first time in it's sorry assed short history. Now we're five weeks in an lookin' like damned in-com-pee-tint eedjit clowns. I been askin' fer help. We got some budget room an I need a middle infielder, an actual pro-fesh-in-al catcher, an' sum pitchin'. 'nother outfielder wouldn't hurt neither ... the FUCK you lookin' at?"

"I'm not Eric," I said. "I'm Chuck."

Glaring down at me like I was a misbehaving child, the giant patronized, "O.K. Chuck. Are you the GM of this here fucking embarrassment?"

"Yes, and you are ...?"

"I'm your god dammed manager! Bob Fucking Dodson. THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?"

The furious behemoth seemed to have doubled in size, now looming over my desk, hands gripping the sides. I swear I could see steam coming out of his ears. The notes I had made this morning were now covered in spittle. Not the best start. Time to make some lemonade. So I stood and stuck out my hand and calmly replied, "Well FUCK YOU Bob Fucking Dodson. I'm Chuck August, your new god damned boss. I just got in this morning. I've made contract offers to a middle infielder, a reliever, a catcher, and an outfielder. I'm hoping to hear back within the next week or so. I've also drafted a kid named Brody Bond this morning. Good looking first base prospect. I'll send you some notes on him later."

B.F.D. straightened up, frowned, and offered, "Hmph. Maybe we'll git along just fine ... if you're still here in a week."

The large, slightly less red man stomped away, slammed my office door somewhat less forcefully than when he opened it, and I got to reworking my notes on the state of this "fucking embarrassment".

[Dington]

Straight to business!

[johnd2442]

I love this immediately. I can't wait to know more about B.F.D.! Really fun read.

[usnspecialist]

inauspicious is one way to describe that start...

[shoeless.db]

Thank the lawd!!!! A guy who curses more than I do.

[Fat Nige]

Good stuff