Owner, General Manager Get Off to Shaky Start
Cairo Chronicles, Issue 1, 2042 Season
It has barely been a day since the Cairo Chariot Archers announced their latest general manager, which seems to be a revolving door of colorful personalities. Even still, in that brief amount of time, owner Ryan Bond and his newest general manager met to discuss intricacies with the team and its vision going forward. Suffice to say, it did not go well.
Setting aside time away from his hot dog manufacturing business to meet with his newest general manager, Bond was already testy seeing that he has had to deal with his third general manager in a span of a Brewster calendar year. Reportedly, new Cairo general manager John Diaz asked the owner for assurances in the final decision making role and that did not make the transition to a new front office regime easier.
Speaking to the Cairo Chronicle a day after a terse introductory press conference that wasn’t even televised on local television, owner Bond had this to say. “Listen, we’re in the offseason and free agency is happening where we haven’t had a steward steering the ship. We need to move quickly, and incessant questions about roles in the franchise isn’t helping quicken the process along. I’m used to people paying a few bucks for a hot dog, eating it fast, and moving on to the cotton candy. I’m not used to overanalyzing until the cows come home. I’m not sure if this was the right move, but good thing this guy had a good attorney negotiating his contract. Let’s just say he has a significant sum of guaranteed money owed to him, so we’ll be in this situation for a while. We needed someone and this guy had no felonies on his background check. After having no applicants for a month, I stopped being fussy.”
Chariot Archers shortstop Piero Richelmi who once had eight at bats in one game offered, “the team owner is understandably impatient after dealing with a lot of turnover in the front office. Hopefully he shows some prudence and allows this process to play out to see what we have.”
Asked for his input, the new general manager stated “I haven’t even opened my office door yet. I don’t want to make waves. I think Ryan and I simply need to get used to each other and figure out our styles of communication and reach a compromise. I know you guys want something to go on, but I’d prefer to keep my eyes on the prize and not get distracted. It was my goal to helm a professional baseball franchise, and I had to come to Egypt to do it.”
This could be a trainwreck along the lines of George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin in the rival MLB, but Chariot Archer fans are hoping that like with Steinbrenner's and Martin's tumultuous relationship, it also might lead to a UMEBA United Cup.
