The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

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The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by Ted » Wed May 29, 2019 2:39 pm

October 4th, 2038
Mohammed Khan


Welcome to the first edition of the Manama Na, a blog named after the team that won the first UMEBA championship. After the Randy Weigand lead Na took the inaugural crown in 2037, the team decided that it should change it's name to something more professional sounding. Manama has historically been known as a great exporter of Pearls, and so, with that inspiring bit of culture, the Pearls were born.

2038 has not been so kind to the Pearls, who finished with a 77-85 record, that was somehow good enough for a wild card finish. One the eve of the playoffs, I caught up with Ted Schmidt, recently appointed interim GM of the Pearls for an interview.

MK: Mr. Schmidt, welcome to Bahrain. Congratulations on being appointed GM of the Pearls.

Ted Schmidt: Thanks, I guess. *Looks around the room, suspiciously, picks up microphone in front of him and inspects the wires*

MK: Um ... sir?

TS: Nothing. You were saying?

MK: *nonplussed* Well ... I guess let's get right to it. The Pearls haven't had a great first season. It seems like our previous GM, Mr. Randy Weigand, laid a good foundation in place, but ...

TS: You haven't exactly had much direction this year, right? I did a little research before I got here. Two different GMs, perhaps not a whole lot of direction? You see, a team needs a cohesive plan. One where each move flows from the previous, and dictates the next. What I see in with the Pearls is a pile of random parts, some talented, others not so much, but no linking theme. One the subject of themes, I can see a little bit of the Weigand tradition here, and while Randy and I are good friends, some of that will have to change. I just do things differently.

MK: I see. Speaking of Mr. Weigand ... we've had trouble getting in touch with him. He never picked up his ring. Perhaps being his friend ...

TS: I could get a hold of him? Maybe. Frankly, I haven't heard much from Randy since the "flying carpet incident."

MK: Excuse me?

TS: Well, you do know that he participated in one of your "rug flops" late during the 2037 season. He apparently made quite a few expensive purchases.

MK: Yes, apparently many Americans participate when they come to Bahrain. It is a wonderful chance to fleece, I mean, trade some of the local expertise for some of your country's wealth.

TS: Well, during a drunken celebration, Randy .. Mr. Weigand I mean, became convinced that one of the carpets he purchased had magical properties. He was saying something about how for the price he paid, it had to do SOMETHING special. He tried to fly it off the roof.

MK: WHAT?!?!

TS: Oh, don't worry. He's fine. It was only three stories and apparently he aimed for the pool. Just cuts and scrapes. After that, he said something about going for a walk to dry off. I haven't seen him since. I assume he drowned in the gulf or got lost in the desert somewhere.

MK: You can't be serious.

TS: I was there ... Don't worry. He'll turn up eventually. I'll keep that ring for him in the meantime. *Inspects ring suspiciously*

TS: Anyway, back to the Pearls. Don't worry, we'll be back in real contention next year. I've already made some moves to address the issues here.

MK: I SAW that. You've released some 20 players and signed 20+ more! Did you feel you needed any time to get to know the team before making such a huge roster shakeup? We DID make the playoffs after all.

TS: Mr. Khan, the Pearls are 77-85. They made playoffs because half the GMs here still don't seem to understand that the basic concept is to play good players. Half the guys on this squad went up to the plate holding the wrong end of the bat. It took about ten seconds to realize I could replace almost the entire team with available free agents and improve the product. I mean, Jerusalem's been the only team really trying to take advantage of the glut of BBA castoffs, and I'll be damned if I let that guy get all the free superscrubs. *vein starts to pulse in forehead*

MK: *Seems taken aback* Hmm .. do you feel like your BBA connections may have helped you sign some players?

TS: Most of these kids just want to play baseball. You have a relatively wealthy international league here, and can pay them much more than they'd make in the BBA minors. Also, some of them are simply "aging out" of the farm system over there and love the chance to make some real money while continuing to play they love. Look at a guy like Tom Coulthard. I tried forever to try to find a place for him as GM of the Crusaders, but it never worked out. Now he can come over here and make good on all those years of hard work ... even if it will be for a stupid team ... *mumbling* can't believe that clown Schroeder outbid me.

MK: Umm...

TS: Anyway, we'll be back on top in no time.

MK: You seem confident.

TS: Of course I am. I'm smarter than everyone.

MK: That's umm .. a bit .. brazen perhaps?

TS: Look you, if you think I care what you think one whit, you're wrong. And if you think you can ignore logic and reason, you're doubly wrong. I'm a NICE GUY! A decent human being. I just don't care for BS false modesty. So print whatever you want. The Pearls are going to dominate this craphole league!

MK: I think perhaps ..

TS: NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK! You're not even a real person! "Mohammed Khan" my ass. The most common names in this region? And you just happen to be the "reporter" for the Pearls. Right. Is that even a real microphone? I see what's going on here Recte!

MK: Recte?!?!?

TS: Oh come on. It's so obvious! This is clearly an attempt to "give me something to do" to distract me from my daily rants about the direction of the BBA. I see through these shenanigans! "Let's give Ted and UMEBA team to occupy his time and maybe he'll shut up for five minutes and stop being suck a dick!" No dice! YOU CAN'T FOOL ME RECTENWALD!!!

Interview ends
Ted Schmidt
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by usnspecialist » Wed May 29, 2019 2:59 pm

im dying this is fantastic. My only quibble is that when I went off the 3rd story of my villa, I aimed for my pool and not the bushes ;)
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by Ted » Wed May 29, 2019 3:00 pm

usnspecialist wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 2:59 pm
im dying this is fantastic. My only quibble is that when I went off the 3rd story of my villa, I aimed for my pool and not the bushes ;)
Fixed, but now I have to put my "Aim for the bushes" reference here.
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by HoosierVic » Wed May 29, 2019 4:33 pm

Fantastic. UMEBA blogs are the best. And don't worry about the wires, just speak into the potted plant ...

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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by jleddy » Wed May 29, 2019 5:12 pm

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad UMEBA world.
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by sjshaw » Wed May 29, 2019 6:00 pm

Take care of my baby (that I abandoned)!
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by Ted » Wed May 29, 2019 6:03 pm

sjshaw wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 6:00 pm
Take care of my baby (that I abandoned)!
They're really in better shape than I made out. Looks like the AI got put in charge during the brief period between the two of us and it did some wacky things.
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by sjshaw » Wed May 29, 2019 6:05 pm

Ugh, that's unfortunate.
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by bschr682 » Wed May 29, 2019 8:50 pm

I feel all warm and fuzzy...

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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by Ted » Wed May 29, 2019 9:11 pm

bschr682 wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 8:50 pm
I feel all warm and fuzzy...
I really wanted Coulthard. I don't really have a feel for what's a "big" Umeba offer yet. I think I'd pay 10-15 mil for the right player, but I wondering if we'd have access to someone that good.
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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by bschr682 » Wed May 29, 2019 9:17 pm

Ted wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 9:11 pm
bschr682 wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 8:50 pm
I feel all warm and fuzzy...
I really wanted Coulthard. I don't really have a feel for what's a "big" Umeba offer yet. I think I'd pay 10-15 mil for the right player, but I wondering if we'd have access to someone that good.
see Flynn Johnson my right fielder...

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Re: The Manama Na 2038.1 - An Arrogant Jerk Goes to a Desert Island

Post by Ted » Wed May 29, 2019 9:19 pm

bschr682 wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 9:17 pm
Ted wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 9:11 pm
bschr682 wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 8:50 pm
I feel all warm and fuzzy...
I really wanted Coulthard. I don't really have a feel for what's a "big" Umeba offer yet. I think I'd pay 10-15 mil for the right player, but I wondering if we'd have access to someone that good.
see Flynn Johnson my right fielder...
I did. You have a lot of former Crusaders. But I play a lot of marginal guys with big splits.
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