UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

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UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by tylertoo » Fri Dec 11, 2020 3:02 pm

Breaking News UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers
Thousands Protest at League HQ

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Jerusalem, May 11, 2045 - Chanting "Give Buch a rest!" thousands of fans from the seven other UMEBA teams stormed to the headquarters of UMEBA in downtown Jerusalem to demand the immediate break-up of the dominant Bucharest Impalers.

Barely into May, the Impalers have surged ahead of the other seven teams in UMEBA - seven games ahead of the Mumbai Metro Stars in the Bancroft, and five games ahead of the Burt Division leader, the Beirut Cedars. The Impalers are the defending UMEBA champions and show no signs of slowing down.

"We realize it is early," said protest leader Osay Kenyusee. "But in an eight-team league like UMEBA, a disparity in power is more stark, and something needs to be done." The protestors presented signed petitions to a guard in front of the UMEBA headquarters demanding that the Impalers be broken up. "For the good of league, we need parity."

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"Parrot E," the protestor's symbol of their demand for parity.

The protestors then marched through the streets shouting and chanting.
"What do we want?"
"Parity!'
"When do we want it?"
"Now!"

The march, which was mostly peaceful, concluded at Independence Park at King George Street in the heart of Jerusalem, where protestors unveiled their own team mascot: "Parrot E," a colorful symbol of their desire for league parity.

"Parrot E will appear at every single game played by the Impalers, in Bucharest or on the road," vowed protest organizer Gedda Lyfe. "Every single minute of every single game, Parrot E will remind the league that without parity, UMEBA has no future."

The Impalers had been not been expected by pundits to be quite so dominant, particularly after losing stud SP Mateus Rabisca to division rival Athens through free agency. Yet the Impalers as a team lead all other UMEBA teams in most batting and pitching categories, including AVG and ERA, and top the league's power rankings by a mile.

In response, UMEBA Commissioner Brodie Burt scoffed at the notion of breaking up the Bucharest club. "We appreciate the passion of the fans of the seven other teams in the league," said Burt in a curt email. "But breaking up the club is not an answer. Let's remember, in the UMEBA four out of eight teams make the playoffs. And anything can happen in the playoffs, including seeing a dominant team go cold. So this idea is silly, and this discussion is over."

At press time, the protestors were revising their demand, instead asking that the Impalers be re-assigned to the Heartland Division of the Brewster Baseball Association.

Police report only a handful of arrests, mostly for public drunkenness. More details as they are available.
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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by RichY » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:27 pm

:D :plus1: those names...
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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by jtannehill » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:56 pm

Love It Nice Work...Osay Kenyusee lol..

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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by Dington » Fri Dec 11, 2020 9:48 pm

Beautiful work
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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by RonCo » Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:43 am

Rumors are the organizers of said revolt may be banished to the Pacific division, if either the originators or the Pacific division can be identified.
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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by Clayman » Sat Dec 12, 2020 5:12 am

I think Jim will put me right if I'm wrong but Bucharest until last season were like the Bills or Broncos, always a bridesmaid never a bride. Think they've only missed 1 play off and been in 3 of the last 4 United Cups..
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Re: UMEBA Fans Demand Immediate Break-up of Bucharest Impalers; Thousands Protest at League HQ

Post by allenciox » Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:41 pm

Bucharest Times: Impaler Fans Intrigued by Suggestion that the team be moved to the BBA

The recent protests against the Impalers has lit a fire in the club's fans. Under the banner of a group called "Impale Brewster" they have begun circulating a petition to make a team trade with the Brewster Baseball Association (BBA). The group spokesman said, "We don't think we are ready for the FL Heartland Division but the FL Pacific Division is a much more intriguing possibility, especially with some of the fantastic players chosen in this year's draft". The petition requests that the full Impaler organization (major and minor league teams) be "moved to the FL Pacific Division" with one of the franchises currently there --- notably Valencia or Portland --- being moved to the UMEBA, in exchange.

The petition does not attempt to deal with the logistical issues involved. For example, travel between America and Europe could be pretty expensive and time-consuming for teams on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean, and fans likely would not relish the idea of moving the team itself to a different city. And, while Valencia and Portland might be second-rate in BBA, they would likely be almost as dominant in the UMEBA as Bucharest has been.

In related news, the Romanian parliament has voted to extend bird-hunting season through the entire baseball season, including the playoffs. This has led some wildlife advocates to be particularly concerned about the fate of "Parrot E", should he show up at any of the Impaler home games.

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