Expansion franchises announcement draws near

Fat Nige
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Expansion franchises announcement draws near

Post by Fat Nige » Mon Feb 24, 2020 1:49 pm

Social Media explodes with talk of UMEBA Expansion

Following Commissioner Rectenwald’s announcement that there would indeed be expansion for the 2042 UMEBA coupled with a restructure of the whole league, Social Media was full of posts purporting to be in the know and spilling the beans on the process. Some were full of conspiracy theories with all sort of dodgy deals apparently being agreed behind the scenes. An influential website called “UMEBA Features” ran a series of articles exploring places that had expressed an interest in taking an UMEBA expansion franchise along with mock-ups of what their logos and/or their uniforms would look like. Following that there was another surge of Social Media posts claiming to have seen Matt Rectenwald all over the Middle East shaking hands with all sort of Sheiks, Oligarchs, Government officials and other shady characters and espousing that deals had been done for all sort of places to have UMEBA franchises. If they’d all been true we would have had a league that would have rivalled the BBA in size! Cairo quite often featured in the conspiracy stories, exchanging brown paper packages with Rectenwald and other influential figures, the tweets also referred to a shadowy figure only known as Clayman who seemed to be peddling leaflets telling people who to contact as regards various possible ownership groups.

One of the most influential BBA/UMEBA websites called “League Polls” had gathered together 12 of the most plausible candidates that had publicly declared their interest in the Expansion Stakes. Their choice of teams certainly had the fans talking. A lot were saying that their team needed real rivals or pointing out which of the prospective teams they felt would be rivals, some were very critical of the chosen teams. It was pointed out that some of the shortlisted options could not really be considered to be in the supposedly Middle East catchment area, but just as many saying that the catchment area was very tenuous before this expansion given that the league already contained Bucharest and Mumbai, both Romania & India outside the traditionally recognised Middle East. There was also debate over which of the markets could actually finance an UMEBA franchise, Kuwait City could definitely do so being bankrolled by an oil billionaire Sheik, but the majority weren’t so sure about tiny Malta and Sicily. Potential Mafioso involvement there though was credited with financing the entire operation in Sicily which would see most of the whole European clan’s money being funnelled through the small island. League Polls had posted an online poll on which teams the fans would like to see in the UMEBA and surprisingly enough the front runner at the moment is a bid from Athens that most considered a) to be outside the Middle East theatre of operations and b) to be short of the required capital to run such an operation after their continued money troubles involving their participation in the Euro Zone and their participation in the European Economic Union. Most people have voted the second most likely candidate at the moment to be a bid from Karachi in Pakistan, this would have sound candidacy given it’s 21 million population and the India / Pakistan rivalry. Possible drawbacks with this bid is the historical and continued tension between the three main ethnic groups in Karachi & Pakistan, the Sindhis, Pashtuns & Punjabis and the religious undercurrent might cause trouble at the games, before you even consider the Pakistani / Indian conflict which has resulted in several wars throughout history. Rumours that the franchise might like to embrace their team’s historical nickname by training their matchday security forces to use their symbolic crocodiles as deterrents.

Image

A security guard walking his “deterrent”

The smart money could be on one of the chasing pack though, Kuwait, Tbilisi, Damascus and CSKA have all got as much claims as the front runners. Kuwait has a ton of money, Tbilisi was one of the first to throw their hat in the ring, Damascus is a solid true Middle Eastern choice and CSKA is an athletic organisation backed by the might of a former Eastern European communist power. Although following the 1989 revolution they have leaned much more to Western politics and economics they still retain some of the Eastern roots in daily life. One is C.S.K.A. which is an abbreviation of Central Sports Club of the Army, an institution dating back to the early 1900’s with it’s roots in an Army Officers Club founded in 1923. From a simple vehicle to oversea the Army’s football teams it has developed into a vast multi-sport organisation that runs teams in more than 15 different sports at the top level. The Army discipline, organisation and level of training helps them greatly there, although the Army involvement is not quite as pronounced as it was in the early days.

Rumours continue to persist though that an announcement of the first expansion franchise is imminent, certainly before the end of the regular UMEBA season although not much is known about how far along the line the second franchise is ? One thing that is certain is the restructure of the league as a result of this, the two four-team leagues under the umbrella of UMEBA will come together as one league, the UMEBA, with two five-team divisions. Keep watching UMEBA Features as we will be the first to bring you the official announcement whether it should come from the Commissioners Office or the successful bidder.
Nigel Laverick
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty


Riyadh GM since May 2046

JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since


An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)

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