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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 6:28 pm 
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$31M Profit, $4M Budget Increase Brings Fans to Their Feet

Things continue to grow worse for Oklahoma Oilman and Yellow Springs Owner John Little. After this reporter broke news of the team’s $30M financial windfall that was coming on the heels of missing out on resigning Eduardo Lopez, several fans grew peevish. But after weeks of lobbying, it appears that Little has not increased the proposed budget beyond the paltry $4M increase he originally planned, and fand have decided they aren’t having it any more.

An estimated three thousand season ticket holders showed up at the team’s ticket office, waving signs, chanting obscene slogans, and threatening to let their season tickets go after the season.

“We gave our heart to this team when it was nothing,” said organizer Lief Gallum, speaking to Little through the media. “You owe us. We want our money to go into the team, not to your yacht or your Caribbean villa. We want you to give our GM the money he needs to bring in free agents and develop the kids we keep hearing about. We want International guys. Us fans, we’re not just dumb hicks hooked on drugs. We see what you’re doing to us.”

The demonstration followed news that Little, whose oil fields have been drying up over the past few seasons, has sold shares in that business, and ordered plans drawn for a luxury accommodation at the top of a mountain on his very own island. This news was fanned by a social media post from Bunny Duster, an “actress” from a suburb of Louisville, who noted that she and Mr. Little were planning to outfit a special room for her, and that it would “only cost a million or two…whatever.”

“That can’t happen,” Gallum said to our reporter. “We want the stadium built up. At least put in the thousand seats you say you want your damned GM to fill so he can fill them. I mean,” he paused in exasperation “this is as embarrassing as that time we had Bozo in the president’s office, only worse. It’s hard to look anyone in the eye right now. The only thing worse would be to have to say we were from Louisville.”

Yellow Springs Nine
Playoff Regular, Landis Averse

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